


How Much Pain Can We Put Knight Cookie In? (Challenge)

by JoSeeFeen



Series: Jellywalkers Takeover 2 [5]
Category: Cookie Run (Video Game)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-10
Updated: 2020-12-10
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:21:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27988368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JoSeeFeen/pseuds/JoSeeFeen
Summary: Satire takes over as the group comes upon a brand new friend, who appears to be feral!
Series: Jellywalkers Takeover 2 [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2030332
Comments: 3
Kudos: 7





	How Much Pain Can We Put Knight Cookie In? (Challenge)

" I dunno'... Maybe they sprained their ankle?" Knight says, looming over Angel's resting body. We had filled Chili Pepper and Knight in on what happened while they were asleep, the radio stuff and whatnot!

" Does that look like a sprained ankle? They ain't getting up!" Chili Pepper grunted, lightly nudging Angel with her boot. " Hm... Let's just ask the doctor here. AY WACKO GRAN-"

At that moment we all realized Dr. Wasabi wasn't anywhere to be found! The last time we all saw her was when she carried me for a few minutes! 

" She must've slipped away, what a shame..." Knight sighed. " This isn't the first time. But the last time we lost someone like this, they got bitten..."

" So we gotta' find her!" Chili Pepper shouted. " She must've gone thatta' way!"  
Chili Pepper pointed forward on the trail, the exact direction we were going to go. The dirt trail (it was more of a road, really) led to a small collection of farms. I'd say this was the only part of the Cookie World that looked _decent_. I suppose it wasn't an insane claim. Dr.Wasabi had no business in the city, as far I knew. Still, why would she leave? We have the food, and golden personalities to provide her with! She probably left since we treated her pretty badly, tying her to a tree and all... And on top of that her granddaughter just ran away from her... Aw, now we seem like the bad guys!

" Then I guess we better hop-to, huh?" Roll Cake sighed, grabbing his hammer from a tree it was leaning on. ( Did you know this dude has a hammer TALLER than HIM?! No wonder he looks so short! He's constantly standing next to a huge object! It's pretty cool though!) " Wooo..."

" Oh, don't be such a downer!" I say, starting to walk along the trail. " This'll be fun! Farms are nice!"

" Not when all the crops are dead..." Knight mumbled, he was the one carrying Angel. " So are the animals... Maybe..."

"Wow uh- Downers much???" I huff, crossing my arms. " Cheer up before you make everyone else sad!"  
Everyone groaned in response to that. Except for Apple, she was running ahead of us all with Tiger Lily. Well, not really _ahead_ of us. She and Tiger Lily would run laps around us while we walked? As if they were trying to burn all their energy or something.

" GUUUUYS!" Apple Cookie yelled. " CHECK THIS OUT!!!"  
Apple was; at that time, in Tiger Lily's arms, Tiger Lily still running. We all gave them our attention.  
" CHECK THIS OUT IT'S CRAY-ZEEE!!!! TIGER LILY, NOW!" After Apple said that, Tiger Lily lowered Apple down... Then thrusted her arms up, launching Apple in the air.

" Eh- DON'T DO THAT YOU IDIOTS!" Roll Cake yelled running over. Although I do not condone calling names, they were being idiots! Were they trying to hurt Apple?! She just kept chucking the kid up in the air! Over and over! " **STOP IT SHE'S GOING TO GET HURT!** "

" I'M LITERALLY FLYING!!!" Apple giggled. And that was our trip! Tiger Lily tossing Apple constantly, and Roll Cake trying to get her to stop. That routine just repeated until we arrived at farm.

" Can you even call this dump a farm?" Chili Pepper chuckled. " I've seen junkyards cuter than this."

" What do you expect? No farmers would continue to keep up their farm if they're being mercilessly slaughtered by Jellywalker herds." Knight said bluntly, heading up to the house at the location. " They probably have some guns inside."

" Guns?" Chili Pepper says, chasing after Knights. " Why would they have guns?"

" What country people _don't_ own guns, riddle me that. Stand back for a second-" Knight said,trying to open the door. Then he started backing up and kicked the door open. Well, kind of. He kicked a hole in it and unlocked the door by reaching his arm in. All while holding Angel Cookie! " I love having legs I can't feel."

" Eeh, OK wack job." Chili Pepper waltzed in the house, we all followed her inside. " Yo, this place is cozy- AH!"

Chili Pepper halted and reached for the back of her head. Slowly, she directed her gaze to the ground, so did the rest of us. There lie her ponytail he had been wearing the entire time I had seen her.

" MY HAIR! NO!" She screamed. " I have nothing left to live for, kill me now!!!"

" What did that? What cut your hair?" I asked, looking around.

" Karma finally caught up to me..." Chili Pepper cried, dropping down to the ground and picking up her hair to hug it.

" That doesn't make sense..." I say, looking around. We were in what appeared to the living room of the house. On the fireplace were a few pictures and figurines. The room was hugged by an ivory Ikat wallpaper, pretty ugly. That's when I look at the wall. There, freshly stuck in it was a large purple arrow. " Someone still lives here! This arrow must've miraculously cut your hair! That's some good aim..."

" The karma theory is more possible than that!" Roll Cake. " Haha, Bloss you're going mad- WAH, MY HAMMER!"

Roll Cake's hammer had another arrow stuck in the center of it.

" This is a living creature you MONSTER! WHERE ARE YOU!? I'LL SQUASH YOU!" Roll Cake cried, petting his hammer.

" Hm..." Knight mumbled, and looked around. " We're not here to hurt you! We in all honesty thought this place was abandoned!" He yelled.

" Don't give it sympathy!" Roll Cake grumbled. " Go stab it..."

" They aren't an _it_. No thing could just shoot like that. And I'm _not_ stabbing an innocent cookie." Knight replied. " Please come out! We can talk this out!"

" Yaya! We want to be your friends!" I join in. " Sorry for ruining your door, by the way!"

" ok... if you really aren't dangerous..." I quiet voice said from further back in the house. Out stepped... Dr. Wasabi?

" Hi guys! I'm a meat shield now!" She cackled maniacally. " C'mon out they won't bite..."

Dr. Wasabi stepped to the side, revealing a short cookie with deep purple-pink hair, she was wearing a leafy cape that was covering her body completely. It was obvious she was the one shooting the arrows, for she had her bow pointed at us, with one of those arrows equipped and ready.

" Look at her!" Dr. Wasabi picked up the new found cookie. " Isn't she cute?"

" Put me down or I'll shoot you next!!!" The cookie yelled, Dr. Wasabi quickly putting her down. " Why're you cookies intruding on MY ground?!"

" Really? No ' Oh hey! Cookies that HAVEN'T been slaughtered, I'm so glad to see that!' or anything?" Roll Cake said, rolling his eyes.

" Sass me again and I'll shoot your hammer, little boy." The cookie said sternly.

" Wah! Damn, you know all my weaknesses..." Roll Cake cried.

" Well uh..." I butt in. " Again, we didn't really expect anyone to be here, we just came here for weapons and stuff... We're all kind of finding all the surviving cookies? Y'know, since most of us are gone..."

" Oh." She lowers her bow. " That makes a lot of sense. I'm Beet Cookie. Do you already know Dr. Wasabi Cookie?"

" Yeah they do! They tied me to trees and threatened to kill me! Good fun!" Dr. Wasabi said, smiling.

" So you ARE enemies!" Beet Cookie readied her bow again.

" That was just me. I did that." Knight said stepping in front of us all. " Don't hurt them please." He sighed.

" Fine!" Beet yelled and shot her arrow, it hit Knight's chest. 

We were all silent, staring at Knight. He smiled.

" Arrow's can't go through my armor unless it's over 80 feet away. We're standing 10 feet apart." Knight walked up to Beet and picked her up. " Stop trying to hurt us."

" I'll shoot your eye out then! Tough guy!" Beet said, punching Knight all over.

" Haha! Suck it hammer-killer!" Roll Cake chuckled.

" I don't see you wearing any armor." Beet hissed. " Put me down! I'm not a child!!!"

" Fine, but give me your bow." Knight said, putting her down.

" You'll have to pry it from my cold, dead hands!" Beet shouted, growling a bit.

" Kick his junk!" Dr. Wasabi yelled while pumping her fist. Beet did just that, causing Knight to double over to the ground. " WOO! Strike 2 for Dr. Wasabi!"

" Why do you keep hurting Knight, Dr. Wasabi?!" I cry, going to Knight's side. " Specifically by telling people to kick him!?"

" I find Knight to be the comedy relief of our group! Y'know? And this is only the SECOND time I've hurt him!" 

"..."

" The second time I've hurt him on purpose. He'll be fine!"

" I don't feel fine..." Knight groaned.

" Meh, you're kids would be ugly anyways." Dr. Wasabi chuckles. *Laugh track plays* " But whatever, if it makes you feel better. I'm sorry."

" We're totally gonna' tie you to a tree again!" Apple giggles. " But it was funny..."

**Author's Note:**

> i dont take ANYTHING seriously.


End file.
